Billies need love too!

I had a brief foray into online dating and many-a-billy reached out looking for love. I guess they just saw the redneck blood pulsing through my veins, no matter how classy, cute, educated and not-from-Billyville I tried to come off in my pictures & profile. I saved a few of the doozies, in hopes of sharing these with the world someday. Now is my chance. I just wish I would have saved the full profile of the guy who listed "really fast air guitar solos" as an interest - damn.

Enjoy this gem! (Note - grammar & punctuation have been left in their full billy glory. Photo has been left off, as I hope this guy finds his other Billy half. But I promise you, it would have lived up to all of your hopes & dreams.)

INSERTNAMEHERE
I am Seeking a Woman duh
Do you drink? No
Do you want children? Prefer Not To Say
Marital Status Single
Do you do drugs? No
Profession painter, why you need ur house painted?
Do you have children? Prefer Not To Say
Education Some High School
Do you have a car? Yes!


Relationship
Intent: INSERTNAMEHERE is looking for a relationship.

Relationship History:
The longest relationship INSERTNAMEHERE has been in was over 5 years long.

Interests
long lasting tastin great less drama
fun loving kind spirit easy going
hugs kisses and 4 play all day my waywow would be nice

About Me:
i can't lie about nothin, i'm not good at it .so i don't think i'll be able to say any thing that a girl would really want to hear?i say this,cause every thing iv'e put on here don't get no mail.a'lot of look's but nothing to be reading.maybe i'm not all that huh?
i got a few dumb video's on u tube ,if you want to see what i really look like? just type in INSERTNAMEHERE ,then you can see me up to date .or i'm INSERTNAMEHERE on the face book thingamagig thing .i like friend's .like to have good time's .i'm a big guy and know how to use him .i can be for a smile and something to eat.lol feed me? and i'm your's .i'll be your best friend and lover ,i love to listen ,and love giving full body rub down's ,it's a good guitar excersize for me. i got me some money ,but i really don't like the fake people it bring's with it .i want some real living .i build thing's .nothing stop's me from doing what's right from wrong.
get at me ok ? if not good luck /.wet dream's to you all.

First Date:
We would go to raging water's .then all you can eat chines ,then the casino,will see if i can afford what to do next ,i no huh.lol

Hillbillies unite! It's story time!

Well folks - I have some serious love for my white trash Midwest roots, no matter how much it horrifies me from time to time. I may live in a far away place now, a far more liberal and educated land - but you can't take away those roots. I often share some amazing laughs & story time with my Midwest and Southern friends, and as they tell their own ridiculous stories and updates from "home" - it's become clear that these things need to be shared with the world. Many of my friends & fam from "back home" continue to amaze me with their billy Facebook & blog posts, and my mother and friends send me into shock and fits of laughter at the same time with their stories ala "you'll never believe it, Bobby got tasered leaving the bar last night" to "holy s*$#, guess who got knocked up, again", or the ever wonderful arrest/jail stories. C'mon people - you know the type. You grew up with 'em, you've lived next door to 'em, you call many of 'em friend/sister/brother/cousin/uncle. Hell, you were probably spawned from 'em. Let's be honest - we all love a good Billy story.

Welcome to The Daily Billy, where I will be posting daily "Billy" laughs. Some will be personal, and those names will be changed to protect said Billies. Others will be amazing Billy videos, memories, stories I hear, photos, jokes - the Billy world is our oyster. So crack a Bud Light, get yer kids out of the above ground pool in time for dinner (yesterday's walleye catch of course) and let's all gather 'round for some Hillbilly fun!