November 29, 2012
'MURRRICA - fuck yeah. Shocking news folks, but our lovely country continues to have some pretty terrible graduation and higher education rates compared to the rest of the world, and our wonderful American icon WALMART is here to help us prove it. And gosh darnit - to keep it that way. Maybe a bit of both? Thanks for helpin' the stupid stay stoopid!
May 9, 2012
It's a real thing people. It's a little like the "Homeless or Hot" game we play in LA... and the entire hipster movement that we've seen happen in the past decade. I'd love to say the grunge movement in my formative years led me to love the occasional trashy-looking gent, but we can look back on some of the most idolized musicians, actors, authors & painters of the world and see a trend. White Trash can be hot and though it's not a look many of are proud to openly run to, let's discuss a few of my faves. 1. PAM ANDERSON. Now that's white trash, and that's hot. I'm a straight woman by the way. And would never negate a man's desire for these plastic boobies, bleached hair, plumped fake lips and chicken legs.
January 12, 2012
Shocked that in this over-saturated moment of every schmo with a Flip cam making their own version of the "Shit Girls Say" video (just FYI -I'd be pissed if I came up with that original concept - which was actually FUNNY - and now have to watch all these fucktards rip it off).... I'm shocked that no one has yet to do a "Shit Hillbilly Girls Say" or the like. Which had me thinking, what DO my ladies w. the classy WT genes say?
"Hold on Bobby Sue, Momma's gotta beer up."
"Where in the hayyyaalll is my jean vest!?"
"I'm so pissed ya'll - my unemployment check isn't here yet. But - check out these new Nikes I got today."
"Get some more box wine! The pink shit!"
"Ya'll want rabbit tonight?"
"My perm's all grown out. Shit."
"I can't wait for summer - we gonna blow up the pool and buy some of them plastic palm trees from Big Lots for the back yard. Gonna look like Floreeeda up in here."
"We're done outta Hamburger Helper. I'll just make some of that there Mac'n cheese and crumble some pig in there."
"Git them dogs off the water bed! You know that shit'll pop!"
"I really love these sparkle earring thangs they put on my nails today."
"Get the quads started - we're goin' muddin!"
"Pack up the Buds and git in the truck, we're going to Walmart!"
"That thang got a Hemi???"
"4 red headed sluts and a sixer of Bud Light."
"God dammit - did you kids steal my Reds?"
"Who deflated the intertube again!? Where in the hell am I supposed to put my cooler?!"
"Daddy wants family day - git your guns and git in the truck."
"Did ya'll see Jessie's new Trans Am? Got flames on the side, shit's NIIIIIIIICCCCCCEEEE."
"Me and Sally got all signed up at Curves today. You know, the one next to the Piggly Wiggly. I'm gonna look like them movie stars."
"I saw the funniest shit today - Debbie got truck nuts! You seen them things?!"
"Mmm I love deer chili."
What am I missing!?!? Send to firstname.lastname@example.org!!
January 1, 2012
A long time believer of making year-round resolutions (not just one over-hyped day a year), I rarely put much effort into the whole resolution thing... but this year it's time to start paying attention to the things that make me happy. And the Daily Billy simply makes me happy. As I've always said - this blog truly comes from a place of love, reuniting with my roots if you will, and giving the billy ways of home a nod. Embracing that down-home, very different but just as beautiful place that I'm from. I always believe if you are "in on the joke", it's not offensive, it's simply being honest. There are flaws to any place in the world, and though I have gripes about many things I believe should be changed/updated where I come from, I am also incredibly proud to be from a part of America that puts family first, is patriotic, takes pleasure in the "small things" and loves the slower pace of life. I am who I am because of growing up there, and the Daily Billy reminds me to laugh at both the good and the bad.
I just spent an epic couple of weeks traveling to Lake Tahoe for the holidays, back to Southern California, then back to Palm Springs for New Years festivities. As I drove through Central California (which I remind you all, is as Billy as you can get - I promise you) and even made it into Nevada from Tahoe, you realize how diverse this country really is. Gun shops galore as soon as we crossed into Nevada, pickup trucks and dive bars as far as the eye can see, and Walmart of course. I still have to refrain from stopping when I see a Walmart - to "just see if I need anything." That vein will never stop pulsing in my body. I love Walmart. And maybe I went to Olive Garden. Twice.
But we Amuurricans sometimes forget Billy's are world wide. I came across this "Happy Holidays" banner online for a gun shop in the UK today. As I laughed at it, I realized I've let the DB go over the past months, and that's just nonsense. Even if I have 13 followers and I know 90% of that are my lovely friends who just miss their hillbilly "homes" as well, it still makes me laugh to find gems to post on the Billy. So I'm back in 2012 - and will make a big effort to look for billies all over the world, not just us Budweiser drinkers that have transplanted elsewhere in the States. Let's keep this going!!
September 29, 2011
September 13, 2011
Washington state knows how it's done - found this gem cruising along the highway in rural Washington en route to Seattle. I had no idea the Northwest had so many wonderful billies. Complete with camouflaged paint jobs, coolers bungee'd to them, and covered in dirt. Made me proud!
September 5, 2011
I mean, summers in the Midwest can get very boring, and I'm aware the extreme heat & humidity can affect anyone... but there are no words for this.